I Couldn't Help It: The Bishop Hendricken High School Class of 2009 is Beastcake

Okay so I'm usually not one to brag or even speak about college choices and acceptances, as I really believe that many institutions become overblown in reputation and pursuit due to the current "rat race" tactics that our society uses to gain acceptance into said institutions.

However, I can't help but brag about how amazing the class of 2009 at Bishop Hendricken has done so far in the so called "college process." We are undoubtably the best class to ever walk the halls of Hendricken. Not to brag or anything...but its pretty close to the truth.

The following is the list of the institutions which individuals in the Class of 2009 have been accepted to. The number of acceptances school-wide is indicated in parenthesis. I may have omitted some decisions which either have not been released yet or I have not personally heard of. I'll attempt to keep the list updated. No names of students will be provided, obviously. I realize this was posted on April Fools Day but it is by no means an April Fools Joke...honestly wouldn't attempt something as hilarious as getting into college.

MIT (x1)
Northwestern University (x1)
Rice University (x1)
Georgetown University (x1)
Notre Dame University (x3)
Boston College (x10+)
Vassar College (x1) - me!
Yale University (x1)
Duke University (x1)
Brown University (x6) - yes, 6
Cornell University (x1)
West Point (x1)
Johns Hopkins University (x1)
Northeastern University (x5+)
Dartmouth College (x1)
UPenn (x1)
Villanova University (x3)
Washington University in St. Louis (x1)
Tufts University (x2)
Wake Forest University (x1)
William and Mary (x1)
Case Western Reserve University (x1)
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (x3)
McGill University (x1)
Miami University (x5+)
Tulane University (x3)
George Washington University (x3)
Syracuse University (x2)
University of Pittsburgh (x2)
Boston University (x5+)
University of Delaware (x2)
UConn (x4)
Wesleyan University (x1)
United States Naval Academy (x1)
United States Air Force Academy (x1)
Providence College (x10+)
Bucknell University (x1)
Holy Cross (x2)
Muhlenberg University (x5)