This Moment

Sometimes, it just feels as if your life has led up to one moment. This moment. The very time when all your past decisions line up perfectly to create the perfect storm of wonder, awe, and beauty.

This moment is one of those times. This moment explains all past hardships (pff...I haven't really faced hardship at all, who am I to talk?), explains all past happiness, explains why I am where I am today. It explains my parents, my family, my friends, and those close to me. This moment creates a feeling that will only be replicated a few other times in my life - the feeling of complete and utter joy and gratefulness for what I have been blessed with in this amazing life.

The time from my conception to now has been marked by an unimaginably large amount of forces beyond and within my control. Chaos and I are constantly creating a beautiful storm of nowness, a now that has contributed to this now, this special moment of being. Even though this moment is constantly moving and shifting its place, a piece of this moment intertwines itself with the past and the future. This moment is a never-ending tornado that rips time across boundaries, spreads time across infinite spatial bread like peanut butter.

Because this moment has shreds of the past and the future, I just want to express my complete and utter thanks for all the love that I have been shown throughout my life. I know love has been a common theme on this blog, but its truly what mostly inspires me to write. Sometimes, even when I am alone and sitting at my computer, in what seems like a meaningless moment, I can feel the meaning of life because I have felt and continue to feel the love of the incredible people that I inhabit this earth with.

So thank you, friends. Thank you, family. Thank you, nature. Thank you, world. Thank you, universe. But mostly, thank you, love. I know you're out there.

The Dalai Lama Knows Whats Up

At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living.

# 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
# 2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
# 3. Follow the three Rs:
# 1. Respect for self
# 2. Respect for others
# 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
# 4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
# 5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
# 6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
# 7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
# 8. Spend some time alone every day.
# 9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
# 10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
# 11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
# 12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
# 13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
# 14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
# 15. Be gentle with the earth.
# 16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
# 17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
# 18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Just some food for thought.

A Thought a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

I've been thinking a lot lately, especially since I have been traveling quite a bit on my own. Just a few days ago I returned from a beautiful trip in Washington, D.C., the nation's splendid capital. A simple square assaulted on all sides by different states, the people in D.C. struck me not as a group of overworked, overheated, discontent automatons but as humans appreciating and loving other humans. Though I normally think a lot (and have self-proclaimed myself as extremely "heady"), my experiences of people and nature in D.C. caused me to realize how much our overall health relates to our thoughts and our perceptions. A simple positive thought every day has the ability to completely change your world and how you feel in your world. The thought doesn't have to pertain to anything in particular, it can be about you, your friends, or your family; happy, honest, or abstract; simple, direct, or complex. I planned to begin writing (either in this blog or elsewhere) a thought from a moment of every single day, encapsulating that thought in all its beauty. This post serves as a simple start to that idea, a listing of a few thoughts of my own that I have experienced over the summer and this past year. Hopefully, time will permit me to elaborate further in the future, with the ability to dedicate entire posts to one single thought. For now, though, a few thoughts that have been lingering in my mind, in no particular order...

1. Never take anything for granted. This includes, but is not limited to: music, your parents, your good health, your friends, this planet, love, running water, electricity, the internet, the ability to read this right now, your body, your ears, your eyes, your nose, your fingers and toes, your limbs, your perceptions through each individual body part, your brain, your mind, your consciousness, your being, good food, food at all, the ability to taste, the ability to think about what you taste, water, your family, healthcare (if you have it), animals, nature, architecture, patterns, geometry, the small things, the clothes on your back, your questions, your answers, this universe, whatever put this beautifully chaotic universe into being, your worst times (you need those, too, to make you who you are), your best times, your fellow worker, the workers in your community, the average joe on the street, your fellow human beings. I could go on forever...you can decide how, when, or if this list will end.

2. Time alone is extremely valuable. Be sure to take time for yourself to do something you love. Take time for yourself to appreciate nature. Take time for yourself to relax. Take time for yourself to think. Take time for yourself to understand why. Take time for yourself to understand this universe. Take time for yourself to understand your mind and consciousness.

3. Friends are the most valuable people in your life. If they are true friends, never lose them, always trust them, and always be there for them. Your friends will get you through the worst and the best of times.

4. Never, ever, be embarrassed by or shun your parents (unless you have an extremely good reason, or they have wronged you in an irreparable way). Too many loving parents have been ignored by children who want to outgrow them. Your parents are the reason why you are here today, the reason why you are who you are today. They literally carry on in you, and you and your parents will forever be biologically intertwined. Accept their love and love them back, for they are a beautiful part of your life.

5. If you are ever feeling down or out of touch with reality, listen to your favorite piece of music. There is something incredibly human, moving, and radiant about what musically touches us. Never lose sight of what a valuable tool your ears can be for connecting with other humans.

6. People are constantly watching what you do. A favorite pasttime of almost all people is to people-watch, for whatever reason. That reason could be for absolutely anything - curiosity, laughter, self-esteem. Be a role model almost always. You never know who could be watching. Even if nobody is watching, its important to display a positive, loving attitude, because what people see is what they emulate. Think about how you judge and respond to the people you watch and interact with. Keep that in mind the next time you think you are alone, and no one is watching.

7. Constantly love and connect with your fellow human beings. Northeasterners stereotypically tend to be cold and calculating, a mere shadow of a human being who ignores human interaction at all costs. Send love to your fellow traveler, your fellow worker, your fellow Average Joe. It could make their day. In D.C., I was struck by the love and care that people put into interacting with me even though I will probably never see those people again. Most importantly, the love that those people showed me will stay with me for the rest of my life, an unwavering fingerprint upon my soul. Thank you, construction worker. Thank you, squash player. Thank you, gym manager. Thank you, housemate. Thank you, UPS delivery woman. Thank you, Nationals fans. Thank you, Nationals worker. Thank you, police officer. Thank you, Southwest airlines worker. Thank you, Metro security guard. I love each and every one of you. I hope I run into you at some point in the future. So, next time you have the chance, don't be afraid to help your fellow human being. You will never be afraid to ask for help or human affection again.

8. Look up at the night sky once in a while and just think about the universe. Trust me, you'll be amazed at the implications.


Those are just a few of the many thoughts I have had over the past year. I encourage you to take these as you will, and keep thinking positively about what makes the world go round.

Goodnight, friend.

Time

Is it that our hair grows more quickly as the years pass by, or that our years grow more quickly as our hair passes by?

Remember in elementary school, how long the days used to seem? Lunch lasted days of today, recess lasted a month. Take a day, or any period of time for that matter, and live it. I mean truly live it - cherish it, adore it, nuture it. See how much length you can squeeze out of time, but don't rush it. Time is ordinary, a construct, a something that may or may not exist according to us or the world - so, we ignore it. I challenge you to embrace it, feel it, get to know it. You might be astounded by how interesting and fickle time (and, on a greater scale, being) really is. Sit down, meditate, play a game but slow it down - whatever you need to do. Time can be manipulated in a sense, and its interesting what happens when it stops being ignored and starts being attended to.

It is a common complaint that life is too short. In turn, we, as humans, desperately and superficially try to extend life on earth by any means necessary. Maybe if we paid attention to being and time in the first place, we wouldn't have to run away from death. When our time came, we would be able to embrace it if only for all the attention paid to life itself - all the tiny details, all the nooks and crannies, and, most importantly, the vast amount of substance that passes through a lifetime.

Stop looking to the future ("I can't wait for x!"). Stop looking to the past ("What if..."). Live now.

I Am Therefore I Think

"Cabbage, car, plague germ, star: we're all kith and kin. Not, my sun-eyed love, "Cogito Ergo Sum" but, in our distinguished family, we can think because we are..." -Nazim Hikmet

Just a little quote to think about from Nazim Hikmet, from poetry which he composed during his time in prison in the mid 1940's. Its funny to consider the great, elegant minds that end up locked up in prison for the majority of their lives. The solace and elegance that Hikmet and other "prison poets" demonstrate (such as Nelson Mandela - one of whose poems and life was recently the focus of the Hollywood flick Invictus) is truly remarkable in the face of adversity. I hope that I would be able to equally come to peace with my circumstances if ever faced with something as trying.

A little off topic, but another example of this can be seen in an even more popular demonstration - that of Armando Galarraga, a pitcher in Major League Baseball for the Detroit Tigers. Recently, he pitched a perfect game against the Cleveland Indians, which is probably the single most prestigious, difficult, and, well, "perfect" single game achievement in baseball, and possibly even any other sport. A perfect game occurs when a pitcher retires the minimum amount of batters possible in a game - which is twenty-seven (9 innings x 3 outs per inning). This can only happen if: 1)The pitcher allows no hits, 2)The pitcher's team commits no errors, 3)The pitcher does not give up a walk. This is quite the feat, especially considering the pitcher is facing a major league lineup with some of the best athletes and baseball players in the entire world.

There have only been 20 perfect games pitched in Major League Baseball history (21 if you count Galarraga's), a history that dates back over 100 years into the mid to late 1800's. Each baseball season, there are 162 games played (with slightly less games played throughout the course of history) - an attest to how truly rare and impressive the perfect game is. Considering that there are 30 teams in ma jor league baseball (about 24 teams dating back to earlie r times), I'll use this equation to calculate the probabilit y of a perfect game occurring:

150 games (approximately) times 24 teams (approximately) times 130 seasons (approximately - again, I'm not looking up exacts, but the result will be close enough) divided by 20 perfect games. (150 x 24 x 130) / 20 = 1/23400, or .0000427. That means that, out of all the games that have been pitched in major league history, 0.0042 7% of them have been perfect games. Needless to say, that's a ridiculously minute number, and one that would put a pitcher in the Major League recor d books forever.

Now that I've established how amazing the pitching of a perfect game really is, I'll present Galarraga's case in this article on MLB.com. I would check out the video too - It gives a better representation of what happened. If the article isn't working or you don't feel like checking it out, basically what happened was that Galarraga had a perfect game going with 2 outs in the ninth inning. Jason Donald, the Indian's batter, hit a groundball to the first-baseman's right - so Galarraga had to hustle over to first to cover the base. It seemed like a routine play, a little close, but routine. When Galarraga stepped on first base, it appeared history had been made, with the Detroit crowd erupting with excitement and joy, with passion and pleasure at the rarity they had just witnessed.

But wait a second.

Jim Joyce, the first base umpire, had done the unthinkable - he had called Donald safe. Galarraga, though, took what had just happened with extreme class and humility, and a sportsmanship which I have never seen before. Rather than throw a fit or get in Joyce's face, Galarraga reacted in disbelief - but then simply smiled. He smiled and appreciated what he knew he had just accomplished, despite some petty call. I think Joe Posnanski, in this article, put it best: "And when my young daughters ask, 'Why didn’t he get mad and scream about how he was robbed?' I think I will tell them this: I don’t know for sure, but I think it’s because Armando Galarraga understands something that is very hard to understand, something we all struggle with, something I hope you will learn as you grow older: In the end, nobody’s perfect. We just do the best we can."

Galarraga's case is an example of how beautiful a human reaction can be on the highest of competitive levels in this world. His actions (or, perhaps, lack of action) is one of my favorite sports moments of all time. Like Hikmet, it is amazing to see what some human beings can do in the face of adversity.

The Simple Pleasures

Recently I've taken to, well, just loving the simple pleasures of life. Each day lately I seem to notice little details that I usually don't, noting how simple they are in their beauty. It's so easy to become lost in the hectic haze of modern society that I think we sometimes lose sight of what can be profoundly beautiful about the simplicity of life. I sit here now, profoundly relieved, having just finished a research paper for psychology. I think with all the hustle and bustle of finals and the drive to be social, I haven't taken time to sit back and observe what is truly obvious: that life itself is absolutely gorgeous, a sort of dynamic piece of art which never ceases to fascinate. I've really been itching to get a blog post up because I'm sick of writing for a grade, so I think now I'm just going to release, a pouring out of my soul if you will, of what my soul has touched, felt, and perceived, of that which has permanently imprinted itself upon my being.

The simple pleasures:

• Watching my friend write on a banana and laugh about it
• The physics of a door swinging back and forth in Main Building, my dormitory
• Jumping in order to touch really high things, like branches
• Listening to Sigur Ros in this very moment (god their Icelandic is stunning)
• The fact that I'm alive (you might say well duh! but I'm talking about being alive, anyone who has experienced being alive, fully conscious of their own being and the being of everyone and everything around them, knows what I'm talking about)
• Having a profound experience at an amazing musical performance (my body extending into a tree and filling the room, fyi)
• Seeing my friends smile
• Hearing the voices of my parents
• Saying a prayer
• Talking to friends far, far away
• Vassar College and all its amazing people
• Being praised for hard work
• Chewing gum that tastes like yummy berries
• Making a summer reading list, and just the thought of reading for pleasure
• Realizing how much I have grown as a person
• Being asked to sing "Singing in the Rain" by three random girls in the middle of the day
• Seeing a family happy together
• Making the day of a child just by giving them a paper airplane
• When animals seem to smile
• Acoustic music to calm the senses
• Letting go of nagging stresses and worries which don't even matter
• Just being alive (not alive, but alive now)
• God
• Letting all your muscles completely relax so that you get that tingly feeling in your body

What has made you happy lately? How about right now, in this very moment? Think about it...

Because I'm lovin' the simple pleasures.

Quote of the Day

"We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have—for their usefulness."

-Thomas Merton

Beauty

As the brushstrokes collaborated to create a new work of art, I simply smiled and appreciated the wonder of it all.

The Calendar.

And as I flipped through a calendar today, I noticed that time stopped being for a moment...and I could touch the future, see the future, be the future. The past was ripped away, recycled or thrown astray - But it still rang true, still existed. And all was at peace as I stared forth...

A Typical AIM Conversation

Poor Soul who had to deal with my rambling (9:20:35 PM): Yo man, sweet quote.

---

Auto Response from irugee (9:20:35 PM):
"We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have—for their usefulness."

-My boy Thomas Merton.

---

Poor Soul (9:20:51 PM): I like to be.

Poor Soul (9:20:55 PM): I like being a lot.

irugee (9:21:28 PM): haha thanks man! being is quite awesome i have to say. damn you would have been an awesome addition to my theology class like we were saying a while back, we talked about being all the time.

Poor Soul (9:21:41 PM): That's awesome.

Poor Soul (9:22:08 PM): and eating animals right? cause they're not self aware. they don't get "be" so they must be munched on!

Poor Soul (9:24:28 PM): I'm still for the theory that we're all victim to chemical reactions, and that fate is more of an equation then a destiny.

irugee (9:26:46 PM): really? im not sure that i believe in fate...though that may be myself being insecure and not wanting to give up "control" of my life. a part of me wants to say i dont believe in it though. like, aside from the ultimate fate of earthly death. (that sounds so gloomy but idk what else to really say)

irugee (9:29:01 PM): i wouldnt say that we are victim to chemical reactions though , like iwould say that some of our realm is biological but there is also a metaphysical element (for me, being a Christian, it being God)

irugee (9:29:10 PM): i apologize for going all philosophical on yo ass

Poor Soul (9:29:24 PM): nah man, i go philosophical on my own ass.

Poor Soul (9:30:00 PM): And i totally get what your saying, i just think because we can explain emotions and thoughts and feelings through science, that there's really no room for anything metaphysical.

irugee (9:37:29 PM): thats where i would disagree, i dont believe we can explain the totality of those things through science (though science is, i agree, an extremely helpful tool in understanding those things. the thing some dont understand that it is a tool, its authority is so great that some no longer realize its only a tool for understanding the purely physical. the biggest authorities are shrouded by the fact that one cannot even realize the totality of the authority due to its large sphere of influence) . anyway as iwas saying haha , the totality of those things i cannot believe be explained through science because, well, who are you? who am i? is there a mini me inside of me which i can pinpoint and declare with certainty : this is I, this is me, and nothing else, i know with certainty that this entity is the reason for my consciousness? i dont believe we can pinpoint this "bedrock" of existence to any one physical portion of the self, pointing towards something higher, or at the least, the inadequacy of science to explain the fullness of the world. truth has become "fact" instead of truth, the power comes in the fact or that which can be realized in the sole realm of the empirical. in fact science(if the only pure authority present in the world) basically works off the premise that the only "real" things in the world are derived from the emperical, the only true things can be verified from the emperical. the only thing is...that very premise cannot be verified by the emperical and thus contradicts itself, rendering science as the purely one and only authority null. though as i said i believe it to be an extremely amazing tool for understanding the world. espceially when it comes tosaving lives/medicine, things like that. holy crap, long as hell.

Poor Soul (9:40:22 PM): so wait, your beef is the whole "i am me" thing?

Poor Soul (9:40:26 PM): super short version.

irugee (9:42:13 PM): well, kind of, not really. thats kind of a main example i used to show that, at least right now, science cannot purely be used to explain neuroscience/psychology/cognitive science and the links between being/consciousness and the chemical workings of the brain. my main beef i would say would be the use of science as the only authority in todays world, basically the only truth. and the fact that , if science is the only authority...it contradicts itself.

Poor Soul (9:43:27 PM): i, um, wiv,. ,va;nureigeh;gfadsaah fuiew. my head is like 4 hrs behind my body right now.

Poor Soul (9:43:55 PM): How does science being the only truth contradict itself now?

Poor Soul (9:44:06 PM): and don't use the word emperical unless you by me a dictionary.

irugee (9:44:56 PM): hahah thats fine dude, i apologize for kinda going out of control . its just stuff like this i get really into, in fact i plan to major in cog sci/neurosci in college to try to better understand the links between the chemical brain and the consciousness of being. and ooo emperical means "based on the five senses"

irugee (9:45:24 PM): so like, anything you can experience physically through the five senses

irugee (9:46:08 PM): so what im saying is

irugee (9:46:51 PM): if science becomes the only authority, it says this: The only things that are true are those things with a basis/proof/experience through the five senses.

irugee (9:47:51 PM): Im saying that if that is the premise, it contradicts itself, because the premise itself holds no basis whatsoever in the realm of the five senses, thus contradicting exactly what it attempted to establish

irugee (9:56:10 PM): haha sorry if i seem like im trying to go over your head or wahtever, i just get really into this stuff

Poor Soul (10:14:44 PM): sorry, my mom was reading my paper.

irugee (10:15:12 PM): no problemo at all

Poor Soul (10:15:12 PM): But nah it's cool. i feel like if i better understood what you were saying i might be willing to debate, but i'm all kinds of confused.

Poor Soul (10:15:20 PM): That's neat that you want to major in it though.

I figured I would post this just to show that well, I'm kind of really into religion/science and that sort of thing. I actually do talk to people normally, I swear...

Being (Version 2, Edited)

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

They tell you to be or not to be, that is the question
But can they even answer it?
Shrouded in mystery, yet ever insatiable
The way that I look to it confuses me
Puzzles me
Dazzles me
The mystery….

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Individuality…can this be the key to the complexity?
The quest only results in alienation
The lack of communicable satisfaction
Culture, Culture, Society
Going against individuality
But is this being truly free?

Must you follow in order to be?
Oh, the epitome of individuality
The words that shape definity
Yet ever so frequently lack true clarity

I’m workin’ till 4, 4, 4 in the afternoon.
The depth hits me like a giant monsoon
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?

Is this truly me?
What does it even mean to be?
Must I exist simply, merely?
Or can I be he who stands clearly, sincerely?

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Being, its surely a beautiful thing
Can you describe it, the art of being?
One moment I dream of kings
The next, perhaps a sting
The next, I am only being

But can you only be?
Oh, then why don’t you think quickly
Time slips away faster than a decaying tree
What does it take to set one free?

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

We take time, construct it to fit
It acts as a prison, dutifully a duality split
We live not as the moment may permit
Only to the future do we submit, commit

What is the cost of such?
Don’t you think it’s a bit much?
People forget the past, for them its only a crutch
The future lies ahead, in things they can touch

Nearing twenty years of education
Supposed to love to learn, why?
Isn’t everyone supposed to someday lie, to ascend up into the sky?
Take a look into my eyes
Then glance over at what seems to be the prize
Don’t get blinded by its guise, or even sensationalize

Take a look into my eyes

For me, to be exists not so precariously
Anything but love is unsatisfactory
I live for you even if you don’t live for me
After all
For me, to be exists not so precariously
Let me be the one who sets you free

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

Be the one who is,
The one who loves
The one who tries and subsequently never dies…

Being

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

They tell you to be or not to be, that is the question
But can they even answer it?
Shrouded in mystery, yet ever insatiable
The way that I look to it confuses me
Puzzles me
Dazzles me
The mystery….

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Individuality…can this be the key to the complexity?
The quest only results in alienation
The lack of communicable satisfaction
Culture, Culture, Society
Going against individuality
But is this being truly free?

Must you follow in order to be?
Oh, the epitome of individuality
The words that shape definity
Yet ever so frequently lack true clarity

I’m workin’ till 4, 4, 4 in the afternoon.
The depth hits me like a giant monsoon
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?

Is this truly me?
What does it even mean to be?
Must I exist simply, merely?
Or can I be he who stands clearly, sincerely?

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Nearing twenty years of education
Supposed to love to learn, why?
Take a look into my eyes
Then glance over at what seems to be the prize
Don’t get blinded by the sunrise…

Take a look into my eyes.

For me, to be exists not so precariously
Anything but love is unsatisfactory
I live for you even if you don’t live for me
After all
For me, to be exists not so precariously
Let me be the one who sets you free.

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…



---This is a poem/song I just wrote and decided to name it Being. Please criticize it and let me know what you think!