Being (Version 2, Edited)

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

They tell you to be or not to be, that is the question
But can they even answer it?
Shrouded in mystery, yet ever insatiable
The way that I look to it confuses me
Puzzles me
Dazzles me
The mystery….

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Individuality…can this be the key to the complexity?
The quest only results in alienation
The lack of communicable satisfaction
Culture, Culture, Society
Going against individuality
But is this being truly free?

Must you follow in order to be?
Oh, the epitome of individuality
The words that shape definity
Yet ever so frequently lack true clarity

I’m workin’ till 4, 4, 4 in the afternoon.
The depth hits me like a giant monsoon
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?

Is this truly me?
What does it even mean to be?
Must I exist simply, merely?
Or can I be he who stands clearly, sincerely?

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Being, its surely a beautiful thing
Can you describe it, the art of being?
One moment I dream of kings
The next, perhaps a sting
The next, I am only being

But can you only be?
Oh, then why don’t you think quickly
Time slips away faster than a decaying tree
What does it take to set one free?

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

We take time, construct it to fit
It acts as a prison, dutifully a duality split
We live not as the moment may permit
Only to the future do we submit, commit

What is the cost of such?
Don’t you think it’s a bit much?
People forget the past, for them its only a crutch
The future lies ahead, in things they can touch

Nearing twenty years of education
Supposed to love to learn, why?
Isn’t everyone supposed to someday lie, to ascend up into the sky?
Take a look into my eyes
Then glance over at what seems to be the prize
Don’t get blinded by its guise, or even sensationalize

Take a look into my eyes

For me, to be exists not so precariously
Anything but love is unsatisfactory
I live for you even if you don’t live for me
After all
For me, to be exists not so precariously
Let me be the one who sets you free

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

Be the one who is,
The one who loves
The one who tries and subsequently never dies…

The Most Interesting and Amazing Piece Ever Placed on a Standardized Test Ever

Sir Philip Sidney (1554-1586)

Astrophel and Stella I

1 Loving in truth, and fain in verse my love to show,
2 That she, dear she, might take some pleasure of my pain,--
3 Pleasure might cause her read, reading might make her know,
4 Knowledge might pity win, and pity grace obtain,--
5 I sought fit words to paint the blackest face of woe;
6 Studying inventions fine her wits to entertain,
7 Oft turning others' leaves, to see if thence would flow
8 Some fresh and fruitful showers upon my sunburn'd brain.
9 But words came halting forth, wanting invention's stay;
10 Invention, Nature's child, fled step-dame Study's blows;
11 And others' feet still seem'd but strangers in my way.
12 Thus great with child to speak and helpless in my throes,
13 Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite,
14 "Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write."

The Curiosity of the Human Condition in the Modern World

Today, we live in a world of the nearly entirely technological, a world which exists almost solely on an impersonal level. The media appeals to the masses, a substitute for the truth in actuality, an abstract construct which subtly influences the minds of each and every human being attached in some way, shape or form to society. In this society, this mass media, the core of the human being is lost, or at least eludes most. I believe the core of the human being to be love and relation, relations which stretch from family love to friendly love and even all the way to love of all things natural. This love, though, the very core of being itself, becomes lost in the business of everyday life and the sheath which the mass media creates over human nature itself.

The problem lies not entirely in the entity performing the blinding, though, it additionally lies in those who are rendered blind by the issue. For these individuals are not entirely blinded but choose to be blinded, choose to ignore blatant issues at hand. They try not to see through the masks of politics and the media but embrace those masks as the truth. In this very acceptance of falsehood, the ignorant and continually ignoring human denies real issues at hand in the world today, those of poverty, lack of love and what I would call subservient approval of the masses.

There are those who choose to act and those who choose not to act. I will do everything in my power to enlighten those humans dethroned by the false head of the American media. I, proudly, am an actor (or so I like to think). Put away your cell phone, get off your computer (as I write this on a computer...), set aside your work and forget about fashion. Love your fellow individual – love all.

MVPedroia

Dustin Pedroia. Scrappy, hardnosed, a true player and above all, pretty dang short. But does it matter anymore? Today the 24 (25?) year old Red Sox Second Baseman was named the Most Valuable Player in the American League, placing ahead of big names such as Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer, Carlos Quentin, Francisco Rodriguez and Alex Rodriguez.

Its been a long road for the little guy. Drafted back in 2004 by the Red Sox, Pedroia was selected in the second round out of Arizona State University. When I take a look back at the horrid draft class that the Red Sox had that year, its a wonder the organization came through with a gem like Pedroia. The only players still in the farm system from that year's draft are: Andrew Dobies, Tommy Hottovy, Michael Rozier, Matt Goodson, Mike Jones, Mike James and Zak Farkes. Out of these players, only Mike Jones seems to have potential as a legitimate prospect: Last year he split a solid .800ish OPS between single-A and high-A as a 23 year old. The only other player from that draft who has seen the major leagues is Cla Meredith, a reliever in the San Diego Padres organization.

Pedroia has come a long way. Questioned both as a pick and for his talent, Pedroia had to constantly battle negativity harbored towards his size by managers, coaches, scouts and perhaps even fellow players. Not only did Pedroia meet his expectations as a second round pick but he exploded. After plowing through the Red Sox minor league system, he won the Rookie of the Year in 2007. "Pedey" only needed one more year to capture the glory of all individual awards - The American League MVP, 2008.

Being

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

They tell you to be or not to be, that is the question
But can they even answer it?
Shrouded in mystery, yet ever insatiable
The way that I look to it confuses me
Puzzles me
Dazzles me
The mystery….

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Individuality…can this be the key to the complexity?
The quest only results in alienation
The lack of communicable satisfaction
Culture, Culture, Society
Going against individuality
But is this being truly free?

Must you follow in order to be?
Oh, the epitome of individuality
The words that shape definity
Yet ever so frequently lack true clarity

I’m workin’ till 4, 4, 4 in the afternoon.
The depth hits me like a giant monsoon
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here?

Is this truly me?
What does it even mean to be?
Must I exist simply, merely?
Or can I be he who stands clearly, sincerely?

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Nearing twenty years of education
Supposed to love to learn, why?
Take a look into my eyes
Then glance over at what seems to be the prize
Don’t get blinded by the sunrise…

Take a look into my eyes.

For me, to be exists not so precariously
Anything but love is unsatisfactory
I live for you even if you don’t live for me
After all
For me, to be exists not so precariously
Let me be the one who sets you free.

The mystery.
The history.
The utter complexity….being.

Live to love, fight to hug
Be the one…



---This is a poem/song I just wrote and decided to name it Being. Please criticize it and let me know what you think!

My Political Compass....

My own political views are expressed on the bottom of the three charts (as calculated by a series of questions on www.politicalcompass.org). Apparently, I'm pretty damn close to Gandhi, yet I never considered myself much of a revolutionary. I thought I was a lot more moderate than the scale expresses, yet in a way I'm not surprised. I do support Obama's plan and do not support McCain's. Its funny that I lean so liberally when considering ties to my Catholic faith.

What does it all mean?

Well, not much in the context of this election: I am too young to vote. Next time...

Politics don't mean much anyway. I view the majority of politics as ignorant propaganda by individuals who not only blindly follow an ideology or philosophy but fail to recognize the illusion present in the pitch of the average politician. People do not seek the truth but the "average" man, the man they can most easily relate to or most easily recognize as a proponent of their "party." I would like to think that I am above the pettiness and futility of the party system and this compass merely expresses my views on politics in general when dealing when general issues of public concern. I am a philosopher and thinker, not a liberal or politician.

I hope that political fanatics soon stop propagandizing the goodness of culture, art and life. At least Tuesday only comes once every four years.

The Yin Yang as an icon of God

“Without physical substance, the nature (of man and things) cannot be complete. Without nature, physical substance cannot be produced. The yang has the yin as its physical substance and the yin has the yang as its nature. Nature is active but physical substance is tranquil. In heaven, yang is active while yin is tranquil, whereas in earth yang is tranquil while yin is active. When nature is given physical substance, it becomes tranquil. As physical substance follows nature, it becomes active. Hence yang is at ease with itself but yin is fast moving without control” (Shao Yong). In the search for a manifestation of art to adequately describe, assess and symbolize God, I came up short. Behind every piece of art exists an artist, and if the premise is taken that God paints then who could thus adequately paint the painter? While I realize that the assignment posed was not designed to be taken literally but rather used as a symbolization of the nature of God, I believe that the nature of God can most adequately be described in the seeming goodness and awe of his very creations. By his creations, I mean to specifically point out the human issue when confronted with the issue of the Church, the very Church attempting to continually uphold the word of God. The one symbol which I believe can adequately describe the picture as painted by the painter is the Yin Yang.

The Yin Yang? The Yin Yang more immediately represents eastern philosophy and religion, a seemingly inappropriate symbol in a discussion dealing with the Christian God, Yahweh, the Father, the Lord. I see the symbol, though, as a message and manifestation of the balance of God’s creation and what man must accomplish and realize before he truly comes to understand God and theology. I’m not saying that God should or can be reduced to such a symbol but that, quite ironically, this black and white circle of the East represents the utter wholeness and oneness of the world that we live in today.

First of all, before delving into what the Yin Yang represents, we must understand the very nature of the archetypical representation of the Yin Yang. In this case, I am assuming the image to exist in a perfect circular harmony, an ever-conflicting yet ever balancing series of black and white, of light and darkness. The black, though, should not be mistaken for evil, but rather be embraced as a necessary counterpart to its other equal half. Even in the fullness of the black, a perfect circle of white harmony exists (and vice-versa), a consistent reminder of the inherent balance of the Yin Yang. I believe that this very balance overrides the conflict of the symbol, that the symbol signifies absolutely perfect coexistence. This very coexistence can be found in the world which God so gracefully created for the realm of man.

The image of the Yin Yang, I think, is more important today as a reasonable image of God due to the increasing secularization and calculation of everyday life. Particularly throughout the depths of the institutionalization of man, man makes a call to logic and the physical, the tangible over all else. Positivism reigns supreme, and science, while only a tool for discovery (and a valuable one, at that), leaps its bounds. Science in the current world exceeds its boundaries, as its authority ironically transcends the senses of the individuals transfixed with its very reliance on the tangible alone. Man’s utter submittal to a science-ridden dominance of everyday thought and activity eliminates the spiritual aspect of life.

The quote aforementioned appears to attack and assess this problem to its very roots, though. The Yin Yang, in however strange a guise, may be able to solve the consistently occurring issue of the secular versus the spiritual (and subsequently, tradition versus progress). As expressed by Yong, the yang portion of the Yin Yang represents the [spiritual] nature of all things, a nature without which the physical would be unable to thrive. The issue lies not in the yin (the physical) itself but the tendency of man to either ignore or place second the yang (the spiritual) when each should be placed on an identical plane even when seemingly only within the realm of the yin. Because the yang is at ease with itself and doesn’t manifest until present within its own world (heaven), individuals tend to lean towards the yin due to its active nature within its own physical world. The Yin Yang’s beauty, though, lies in its recognition of each portion of its being (yin and yang, physical and spiritual) as equal, no matter the “world.” Sure, each manifests itself through a different method depending upon setting, but each bears equal importance. It could even be argued that it is a natural reaction for man to consider the yin of immensely more importance, as the yin is what essentially maintains survival upon earth. Particularly in today’s Capitalist society, because the yang neither upholds life nor brings forth material prosper, it is ignored. I believe this ignorance and ignoring of the yang can explain why it is so difficult for man to simultaneously accept Jesus for who he was: both man and messiah, both Jesus and Christ.

In Jesus, God sent a perfect symbol of the Yin Yang as a representation of himself, a manifestation of the fullness of both yin and yang, for Jesus was both divine and human. Humankind, though, rejected Jesus for nearly the same reason why the yin yang (or at least the yang) has been rejected in the current day. The people didn’t like the idea of a messiah ruining politics and religion, they could not cope with the yang manifesting itself in an active manner amidst the yin, as the yang’s tendency tends towards passivity amidst the physical. Jesus was the exception, though, he represented the ideal symbol of the Yin Yang, the perfect harmony of physical and spiritual. The people could not understand this because they figured that both the yin and the yang could not exist in perfect harmony, that a figure such as Jesus was a ridiculously far fetched ideal. They believed (and some still believe today) that the perfection of the divine could never be manifested through a supposedly imperfect, sin-ridden being such as man. I believe he was rejected for the same reason that Western culture usually rejects the yin yang – how can a seemingly perfect white (yang) coexist without conflict amidst an imperfect, seemingly evil blackness (yin). In particular, people question Jesus’ ability to save himself, the question of the yang overcoming the yin and the light overcoming the darkness.

What they do not realize is that God sent Jesus knowing his second nature and knowing the inevitability of an end to human life. The point of Jesus life was, in fact, to die for the cause of humankind despite its inherent reliance on the yin. Rather than embrace Jesus as both Christ and Jesus (divine and human), individuals tend to separate the two natures, looking at him in scientific or historic context and then, completely separately, as God. Jesus embodied each simultaneously, though a direct symbol of the yin yang and what it truly means to balance two seemingly staggering opposites. I believe that once the human race accepts the ironically balancing dichotomy of Jesus Christ and thus subsequently, both God and the world as a whole will be understood to a much greater level.

I say this particularly due to the reliance of man today on logic and calculation. Due to this nature of thinking, the yin yang splits itself into two parts – the yin and the yang rather than the Yin Yang. Due to a singular method of thought, individuals emphasize one and only one part of the Yin Yang. What people do not realize is that each is a necessary and equally importance piece of the perfect whole. I actually believe that understanding the Yin Yang means to understand coexistence in racial, social, mental, emotional and physical harmony and understanding. Once we understand the Yin Yang, I believe we can gather together our differences in celebration rather than polarize them in opposition.

Take the very nature of the Yin Yang, for example. It consists of black and white, of the seeming symbols of good versus evil. Rather than emphasize their differences, the Yin Yang demonstrates the ability for each to understand each other, for each to come together upon a line of objective goodness. Even if one cannot find the “line” between the yin and the yang, though, the yang is found within the yin, and the yin within the yang. Even if one becomes entrenched in the depths of one side, the other side brings the individual back to “reality.” For example, if one lives a live consisting of only mysticism, religion and meditative isolation (a heavy reliance on the yang in a world where it is passive), the struggles of everyday physical life remind of the yin’s presence. On the other hand, just when man feels like he is on top of the (material) world (a heavy reliance on the yin in a world where the yang is hidden yet still present), a war or catastrophic event reminds the individual of the utter futility of the yin despite its active part in everyday life.

Once I discovered the Yin Yang as a meaningful and accurate symbol of God, my view of the world changed. I realized the inherent truth of many aspects of the Church: The Holy Trinity (and the coexisting balance of it), the divinity versus the humanity of Christ and the ever conflicting nature of tradition versus progress. I understood why exactly it is so difficult for humankind to accept what the Church says is true because of the very activity of the yin. The man should not be expected to uphold a sense of the yang in a world within which it upholds passivity. In fact, human nature tends towards the security, physicality and tangibility inherent in the nature of yin. Thus, as nature calls man to tend towards the yin, I certainly do not blame him.

However, on the other hand, I challenge him. I challenge the average man, the man tending towards the yin to, once he matures, realize that the yang actually does have a place in the material world. I believe it should be the responsibility of a mature individual to realize the yang at a reasonable point in time because I truly believe the yang will eventually reveal itself either through the yin or even without the aid of the yin. The issue with humankind lies in the continual reliance upon the yin despite the call of the yang – an ignoring of an equally important essence of God, an equally importance essence of the whole Yin Yang. Only through an embracing and understanding of the yang can one understand the yin and subsequently the entirety of the Yin Yang. Similarly, only through an embracing and understanding of the spiritual can one understand the physical and subsequently the entirety of God and his world.

Where Are You?

The following is a response to the following prompt, proposed by BHHS Theology Teacher Mr. John Berry: Where are you (particularly, in regards to God)?

Where am I? Well, first of all, I'm Ian Ruginski, a 17 year old student at Bishop Hendricken High School of Warwick, Rhode Island. Yet I realize I am much more than a simple blip in the map, a mere high school student. I am a human being. This thus begs the question, what does it mean to be a human being?

For me, existing as a human being means approaching the threshold of uncertainty daily, it means a continual storm of the tangible world and the intangible God, the intangible “soul.” I realize my imperfections as well as the imperfections of others yet continually question. Through this questioning I have discovered not only myself but the needs of others. In realizing the needs of others, the larger picture of the universe reveals itself, a great mystery amidst a modern era of apparently infinite knowledge.

Knowledge, though, should also be questioned. As a matter of fact, what is knowledge? Is it simply recalling a fact? Or is it more so the realization of the fact's context, the revelation that the fact can be viewed not only in multiple perspectives but also in the perspective within which it was conceived. It is the realization of the Church and institution as a whole as a man made construct which leads me to believe that the question of God and religion as a whole heeds a much deeper understanding than going to Mass every week or upholding blind faith.

At first, as a child and young adolescent, I accepted everything thrown at me by the people I trusted. Born and raised a Catholic, I went to Church when my parents did and prayed from time to time. My ability to comprehend the world through only the seemingly concrete and tangible limited my ability to understand God and the world in two different ways. This limitation first emerged in my acceptance of God simply because I was told that it was the “right thing to do.” It secondly came up ironically in my quest to reject God as a creation of the human mind. Again ironically, these very doubts began to arose in my first times at Hendricken, a private school renowned for its Christian values and Theology classes. It was within these doubts that I did not realize that my emphasis in reasoning only fell within the category of the world at my hands, the world as according to my own and only my own senses. Though at the time I was selfish and naive, it was a necessary step in reaching another echelon of my faith life.

This particular portion of my life, the one which exists in the present yet ever shifts and ever changes, has to deal not only with my relationship with God but additionally and equally importantly my relationship to humankind. In the past few months to a year, I have finally been awakened to the fact that me, myself and I do not consist of pure matter or real “material” but on a much more complex level within my own mind. I realized that the mind (well, my own mind) consists not of matter but of thought, not of the tangible but the intangible and nothing more. When I attempt to return to the inner being of myself, when I attempt to pinpoint the very origin of my own thought, I cannot find a physical location but only a form of thinking, whether it be in the expression of image or word. In being exposed to my own intangibility, I was able to find the same intangibility of God within myself, I believe that he is ever present on the earth within us just not in a form which we can recognize or assign a value to.

First of all, there exists a sizable gap between humans and animals, a gap which I assign to God. I assign this gap under the “category” of God because there exists no other explanation for such an extreme gap in reasoning ability, in “core being” between two similarly developed, similarly structured beings. Yet this valley does exist, this gap demonstrates the reliance of animals upon instinct yet the intelligent reasoning and understanding of human beings. I doubt that this logically thinking system popped out of the blue, a mere blip in the radar, but has much more meaning. The issue is finding this meaning amidst a sea of doubt, finding this reason palpable, reasonable and tangible amidst an age which assigns value to only what is portrayed as good by the masses.

The “essence” of a human being as previously discussed for me exists as what I would call “hot ice.” This “hot ice”, the “mind” or “soul”, is evident in the tangible world due to the fact that you can feel the heat being given off, you can feel the heat present around the ice – this is done through thinking, reasoning and most of all questioning being all together. The issue lies in the fact that as one attempt to approach this heat, this flame surrounding the ice burns the one who approaches. This could be akin to deep questioning and maybe even receiving answers which you don't want to believe to be true. For a time, the man [sic] avoids the flame, believing it to be wrong or too burning to have greater value upon further investigation.

Then there comes a time, though, when the human can no longer ignore the flame, when the heat of the burning ice becomes too much and man submits to a deeper questioning of it as he cannot remain content for an eternal period of time. The man may not even know why he returns to the very source of heat and more specifically burning, yet he does, an explorer of himself and the world. This points out the curiosity of the human condition in that it indicates the nature of man, the very nature which can seemingly never be satisfied unless a sudden revelation of truth reveals itself in tangibility. The quest thus continues, manifesting itself in an ever-unsatisfied human spirit.

Once the individual returns to the source of fire after a given period of time, he [sic] gathers the courage to go past the fire and into the inner depths of the true soul, the hidden inner sanctums of the very flame which burnt him. Finally, the seeker completes a tumultuous journey through the fire and flames only to reach a startling conclusion: that which was evidently present is not, the ice has melted and no longer exists. What is essential to point out, though, is not the absence of the ice but the continual presence of it: even in the form of vapor. This vapor cannot be seen, touched, heard, smelled or sensed in the way of the empirical senses, yet still exists. What exactly is this vapor? Is it you? An “essence” of you? Something perhaps which is greater than you altogether? I myself pondered this question for a chunk of my adolescent life.

At first, I reached the conclusion that it couldn't be me and only “me”, since I also exist in and through my unique physical construct – the form through which I express this inner vapor (whether this expression exists in thought, on a neural level, language or muscular movement, it matters not). The fire around the vapor, I said, might be a part of oneself since I could sense it within myself but not within others (in a pure form, at least). What I received from others was simply the tangible construct of the fire, the last hanging threads and last flickers of heat which originate in the “mind” or “soul” of another being. I can notice another individual's language (spoken or body), reaction, argument or writing, yet can never grasp an individual's uniquely constructed fire and subsequently concealed vapor in its entirety – I just form an image of what I believe the fire consists of based upon the secondary outcomes of the fire.

The vapor, though, was separate from the fire. What made it unique was my observance that while everyone had a fire, not everyone possessed a vapor or if they did, they either denied it or did not know it existed (due to man's focus on the tangible, this seems to be a common theme amongst humans). I firmly believe that this vapor at your core exists as nothing yet actually is everything. At the very center of your being, you find not what you contain but what contains you: God. Most people realize and understand that a mind exists (the fire) but fail to realize the existence of the life-giving vapor (God) – since it is not able to be grasped in the modernist sense of the word. For people who lack this vapor, though, what happens when the fire goes out or is suddenly doused with water? Nothing remains.

Herein, I discovered (primarily through writings even as recent as Introduction to Christianity and The Encounter with Nothingness done in class) lies the issue of man. He [sic], in the darkest of times, those of war, tragedy or suffering, the times when the tangible world seems to break down without any reason at all, has nothing at all to turn to, not even the vapor which could so easily be accessed within his own being, past the ashes of the crumbled fire. Whats more, without a fire to burn the vapor could regress to the form of liquid or ice, providing you with an even stronger image of God or faith in your life.

In my life, I have incorporated this theory of God within to help me deal with not only the everyday struggles of life but also the everyday understanding of life. Within my current life, which is dominated by long nights of homework, worries about college and a job, being able to relate to God in a close relationship helps to balance the craziness of everyday life. Since discovering him, I have been much more “in tune” with the world and my fellow human beings, I no longer uphold the sentiment that God is some all-powerful, all-knowing deity-king in the sky. Rather than being this crushing ruler above us, he can be a spirit within us, working daily in the beautiful mind of a human being and in helping humans to relate to one another.

In having a sense of God within me, within a tangible “range”, I no longer fret when I cannot attend mass on the weekend. While mass remains extremely valuable in my eyes, I feel as if I can still have faith and be a good Christian. Before discovering God, I viewed the Church as God, I would say. Rather than focusing on God and what it means to believe in him, I focused on the formalities of what my CCD teacher or priest told me (which sometimes consisted of, “go to Mass or go to Hell!”). Now, I feel as if I understand what could be considered “the bigger picture.” Rather than strive to follow the rule or law, I strive to contribute to the world in the form of other people. Rather than accept the law as law, question the law and come to an educated conclusion. If that conclusion leads me to defy the law in order to do what my conscience says is right, then thats what I must do.

Once again, I'm Ian Ruginski, 17 year old student at Bishop Hendricken High School of Warwick, Rhode Island. Yet I realize I am much more than a simple blip in the map, a mere high school student.

I am a human being.

“I don't try to imagine a God; it suffices to stand in awe of the structure of the world, insofar as it allows our inadequate senses to appreciate it” (Albert Einstein).


I challenge you to ask yourself the same question.

An Update! Finally!

I just wanted to let everyone know that I realize there has been a definite lack of content lately and will strive to take care of that in the upcoming month(s). There has been a lot going on in my life lately, and I simply have not had ample time to make intelligent and informative posts.

One of the main aspects of my newfound business is the entirety of the college application process. I'll be submitting my Dartmouth Early Decision Application for Undergraduate Admission sometime within the next 7 days.

Go Big Green!

Big Mac + Drugs = This Video

Acid trip?

Time Travel

Even if time travel was practical or theoretically possible, how could it be feasible? Time exists only through experience of the world, and each human being has a different (even if slightly different) interpretation of the world. If one person went "backwards" in time and changed something, I fail to comprehend how the change could have an effect on another person who continually remains in the present. In short, I see time travel as an "all or nothing" ordeal (can't be done with one, but maybe all). Even with "all" people and/or "things" time travelling, it seems nearly impossible (at our current level of understanding and technology, anyway).

*Discussion continued in "Comments"*

Recent United States Politics

Neuroscience and Experience through the Mind

Doctor Tardiff, Theology teacher at Bishop Hendricken High School, posted:

"What the Bleep" convinced me that you cannot do much good with popular presentation of complex stuff. I tried not to ridicule or dismiss the presenters, but in the end I couldn't sift very well the solid known parts from what seemed to be personal philosophical musings. Still, I really liked the love peptides. Speaking of which, suppose Neo sees a woman in a red dress in the Matrix. Tank is looking at his computer screen and he tells Morpheus, "Neo is looking at Mouse's woman in the red dress." Do Tank and Neo see the same thing? Do they have the same experience? Well, Tank is seeing the causes of Neo's experience (as fictionalized by the film), and so he can tell Morpheus what is going on in Neo's head, but he is not having the same experience; green computer code is just not the same.

Somewhat more true to life, suppose someone, Fred, is given a smutty magazine (sorry) by some well-intentioned and morally challenged scientists, and suppose that these scientists are recording everything that is happening in Fred's brain. Still, their experiences will be quite different from Fred's (certainly no sexual stimulation). Also, their consciousness will be full of things that poor Fred's is not, such as awareness of electrical discharges. Of course Fred is actually having electrical discharges in his brain, but he is not aware of them (just ask him). Suppose one of the scientist's conscience gets to him and he decides to clean up the situation by burning Fred with a match to snap him out of it. All the while the scientists are still carefully logging all Fred's subsequent brain activity. Still, they do not experience the same thing Fred does. They don't experience pain as Fred does even if they detect every aspect of its physiological causes. They may not have to ask Fred to describe the pain, because they understand it thoroughly, but they are not feeling it, and he is. For these reasons I think that experiencing objective causes is not remotely the same as the subjective experience itself.

Last, I have been sitting on this green stool that Andrew Bartolini made for me last year. I really like it, but it's hard. Because I have been sitting on it all this while, I have been having a host of corresponding brain activity (my butt works and in a certain sense it is attached to my brain), The interesting thing, 'though, is that I didn't experience any of this brain activity; I paid no attention to it, so while it was there (and the scientists would have recorded it if they were tracking every event in my brain), I had no experience of it. I am actually experiencing it now (off and on), and I'm even going to make a choice based on this experience: end this post and move to a new chair. There are countless events going on in your brain that you don't experience (if you did, you couldn't function). Again, the basis for experience is different from experience itself.


My response:
Doc, you said "There are countless events going on in your brain that you don't experience (if you did, you couldn't function). Again, the basis for experience is different from experience itself."

I would somewhat agree with this statement, in that the basis for experience is different from experience itself (the underlying "code" and "science" of the brain as opposed to a physical or tangible awareness or experience. Yet I would like to pose the question "are the two really that different after all?" Sure, we personally cannot measure our brain electrowaves or whatever else goes on in the mind, but does that mean that they are that different? Just because we cannot tangibly sense something doesn't mean its not a part of our experience. The basis for experience in this case directly leads to experience, feelings, emotions without our own knowing.

Without a basis for experience there exists no experience. I guess it depends on your definition of experience, though. For me, the basis for experience exists on the same level as experience because without the basis there is no experience. Subconsciously, these waves and electrical charges are directly responsible for our "mind" function. So, in my opinion, we are technically "aware" and "experiencing" the basis for experience without knowing it since we can only really articulate this basis through language and our own mind function.

I'm actually so interested in the difference and similarities between underlying brain function (the science of the brain) and seemingly "physical" brain function (the psychology of the brain) that I plan to major in Neuroscience in college. Also another question: I don't understand why simply because you don't pay attention to something eliminates your experience of it. How could you recall the pain caused by the stool if, according to you, you didn't experience it in the first place? I guess you could say this discussion brings up the age- old philosophical quandary of if a tree falls in a distant forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?

I thought German was supposed to be choppy...

Durch den Monsun - Tokio Hotel

Durch den Monsun is German for Through the Monsoon. Tokio Hotel's English version of the song only bears the title Monsoon, though. What has been lost in MTV is the true beauty of the articulation of the German language, especially when done by a few 15 year old musicians. The majority of Tokio Hotel is now 19-20 and dually composing German and English albums. Yes, the lead singer is a male, so please don't bring that up (has been controversial, particularly in recent U.S. video releases).

Science AS Religion (and vice versa)?

What I was trying to say was not that "ALL explanations of the world around us, on some level, are inherently the same because they are simply stories that we tell ourselves to make sense of our surroundings?", though I understand where that might have been implied. Rather, I meant that this "search for truth" was a common base for both science and religion at their origins. The seeming point of religion, to me, is to search out the truth (which, in the case of religion, is God who equals universe). The seeming point of science, to me, is to search out the truth (which, in the case of religion, is "fact/findings" through experimentation, which equal universe). I would agree with you in that we are trying to make sense of our surroundings through these constructs, but in this attempt we have a divergence of motive and ends (in science and religion). This divergence has become seemingly impossible to permeate in the modern culture of today, which seems to tend towards extremes rather than the acceptance of multiple views or theories (the idea of an absolute truth being manifested in one and ONLY one of these systems).

I (personally) see each as a jettison to the "truth" of the universe. I believe they can coexist without constantly contradicting each other. The issue exists, though, in that some people do not recognize this similarity of motive in each system (and, in addition, an eventual similar ends if such a universal truth exists). Rather than seeing this quest for truth, they see only the means of science and the means of religion expressed whilst attempting to reach this "end" of truth.

On Science versus Religion

For clarification, this similar plane of development which I
refer to is a "search for the 'truth.'"

I disagree that we should separate the two. I base this primarily on the grounds that science and religion were a co-creation - each early constructs of man which have developed separately, yet were constructed on extremely similar planes. The issue with science for me lies in that individuals cannot, will not or do not recognize the fact that it is a man made construction. Instead, the scientist or atheist (or it even could be argued that the average American) usually dismisses religion on the grounds that "only the empirical is the true (and subsequently, the real)." The issue with the said statement, though, is that the very statement has no empirical basis and thus should be considered invalid based simply on contradiction. I believe that religion and science can live in union but this very possible union depends upon the capabilities of man to recognize each as a (similar) social construct. Unfortunately, in today's society, the spiritual and metaphysical, despite originating from a similar plane as the physical, exist as completely separate from the physical. Their coexistence depends upon man's interpretation of each, and what the "truth" actually means.

Albert Einstein was truly a genius

"I don't try to imagine a God; it suffices to stand in awe of the structure of the world, insofar as it allows our inadequate senses to appreciate it"

-Albert Einstein

I love this quote. Anyone have any thoughts?

A nice, relaxing song. Faithless - Bombs.

Writing on Everything yet Nothing

I wrote this back in January (the 28th, 2008) - figured I would get it up here since I have a Theology paper to write for school right now.

Well, on this particular night, being blessed with an uncharacteristically low amount of homework, I decided to simply write and write free. A lot of things have been going through my head lately and I just feel like I have to get them off my chest, or at least put them into writing. Each of the following subjects share no connectivity whatsoever, so any attempt of associating each is pointless.

If you feel like reading, go right ahead. If not, thats fine too, simply ignore this blurb and go on with your life.

-The Concerns of Others-
When you're walking around school, following the crowd, doing your thing, whatever you do...do you ever think about others? Kids get picked on all the time, maybe by you, or your friends. You never step up. Thats not cool to do. Hell, I probably don't even do that most of the time. I should, but I don't. But just stop and think for a second on how deeply hurt that given person may be. Try and talk to them, get to know them, help them out. It may not only be at school, but problems at home or with something else.

Even your best friend(s) may be experiencing problems that you don't know about. They may seem extremely radiant, happy, or outgoing to you, yet scarred internally, wishing someone, anyone, would ask or care about their issues. Alcoholism, abuse, it all happens, yet is never revealed. Obviously, don't attempt to dig too deep or stick yourself where unnecessary. Just care. You will be surprised at how many hidden vehement quandaries exist within the mind of the most seemingly content individuals.


-School-
What is the point of school? This question is asked by one and all students around the entire globe. And of course, the answer given by the student is that the system is unnecessary; whilst the opposing force [teachers, parents, whatever] proposes that school is a key cog in establishing a foundation for future job opportunities. I, however, propose a compromise between the two. School is most certainly necessary as to establishing primary education and the basics.

However, homework would be almost entirely eliminated in this system, or at least a strict designation of which classes were allowed to give homework on each given night. The overload of homework upon a student on some nights is ridiculous. A 15 or 16 year old teenager staying up until 3 AM in order to maintain a "B+" in Biology is simply outrageous and detrimental to overall development.

Another thing which would be altered within my ideal educational system would be the start of the day. It has been scientifically proven that teenagers need more sleep and tend to stay up later, and thus the school day should follow this pattern. Of course it doesn't, resulting in students falling asleep in school and the like.



-Music-
Music is such a remedy for the mind within a life which can bring much confusion or anger to oneself. If you do not listen to it or enjoy it, you should really sit down one day and just take a little time to appreciate how amazing it really is. Even with myself, though I love music in its entirety, don't find myself liking a particular song until the 4th or 5th time I listen. Even entire genres can act this way, as I discovered once I enjoyed a select few hip-hop melodies. Put yourself out there and just listen. Only good can become of it.

Secondly, there is no "good" or "bad" music, just preference within the mind of an individual. This is most likely influenced by the types of beats exposed to as a youngster, or those listened by one's close associations. Try and broaden your horizons at every chance possible. Listen to everything thats out there and you will be surprised at what you take a liking to.



Love
This is not a cheesy, ooey-gooey diatribe on love but rather a reflection of what it truly is and feels like (based on my experiences and depth of knowledge, anyway). This is referring to male to female relationship love, and not friend or family love (though this form of love also exists as completely amazing and legitimate).

True love, I would say, is not based on convenience or pure physical attraction, but an unreeling commitment to the partner. You must be willing to dedicate completely to your partner, willing to do anything in your power to protect them, aid them, or respect them in every single facet of life which confronts each of you. A complete and mutual allegiance to one another is necessary for a relationship which will be long lasting and positive for both parties involved (hopefully eventually resulting in marriage).

Love can be experienced in a number of ways. It can be physical, personality linked, amongst other things. A full combination of factors must be present in order for uninterrupted love to exist. Sure, the occasional conflict will arise. But, if there is actual love present, these will not matter in the least when all is said and done. Each person involved in the relationship will move on and be content within the very near future (not including severe conflicts, such as cheating).

Once you discover true love, the feeling will be that which has been completely absent previously and generally foreign. I believe I have found this feeling currently, and share it with Bianca Carolyn Angolano, the most amazing person I have ever met. You know love is there when you can just look into your partners eyes and smile for hours on end, or just talk forever about the most random yet amusing things...even if it means being on the phone at a legitimately late 3 AM. You love everything about the person, and they love everything about you. Flaws are overlooked...you realize things about yourself which had not previously occurred to you. The introvert becomes the extrovert.



In short:

Care. Educate. Listen. Love.

I hope you found this unnecessary over-analyzing of spontaneously occurring thoughts useful.


Looking back, it seems like this was rushed and poorly written, but its something, right? Some of my views have changed since then.

My name is Ian, and I view the world through these eyes.